Hey, I'm Not Going To Judge You

1. If your internal dialogue includes rap phrases but you are a white female... example: while in the garage getting a diet coke you internally say-with swagger- "it's got in hot in hurrrr," or "it's hard out there for a pimp."

2. If you've ever made yourself cry watching 90's country music videos on YouTube.

3. If you eat ice cream for breakfast without thinking twice about it.

 4. If you comb your hair into weird styles (Mohawk, Cindy Lou Who) when its dirty... just for fun.

5. If you make your boyfriend's bed every time you sleep over but you rarely make your own (it's all an allusion boys).

6. If you distrust skinny chefs and fat yoga instructors (they're obviously not buyin' what they're sellin').

7. If you mummify your hand before killing a spider.

8. If you miss Britney and Justin in all their matching denim glory.

9. If you ever feel weird walking around naked in front of your dog (they can't tell... right?).

10. If you're still just a little tiny bit afraid of the dark.


  1. Jessica, i've become addicted to your blog and read it every day at work.

    your no judgement series is hilarious. keep it up!!


  2. Hahah! Totally to #4 & #9! I live for these. Keep 'em coming...

  3. Jennie- That makes me so happy! yay for workplace entertainment!

    PB- Will do :) viva greasy mohawks