Blogspiration... And 10 Things I've Been Doing

Here are some things I've been doing lately:

1. Googling Marilyn Monroe.

2. Mastering the frozen food aisle in the grocery store.

3. Having issues with my nose which feels like it has knives inside the left nostril.

4. Dropping the above fact in conversation with strangers, casually.

5. Wondering why above strangers didn't want to talk to me about my possibly cancerous or flesh eating nostril.

6. Getting lost in the paint aisles at Home Depot and annoying all staff within a 30 foot radius.

7. NOT going on Web MD.

8. Eating sausages and drinking fancy beer at Bru Haus. Verdict: I do not appreciate quality beer but I do appreciate quality sausage (I set you up for this one...). And you should go here if you are a male that wears polos to work and wants to watch sports during happy hour (or, if you want to meet one of these creatures).

9. Testing out cheap wines at Trader Joes. One winner so far: Black Mountain Pinot Noir (let it also be known I incorporate bottle presentation into my assesment and have little to zero formal training or knowledge... but I am bossy and consume many a glasses of red).

10. Getting inspired by these ladies of the blogosphere:

  

 

 

What have you been up to sugar buns? 

photo sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Hey, I'm Not Going To Judge You...

1. If you got your face painted on Easter... at the country club... with your boyfriend's family.

2. If you like to yell "Abe Lincoln!" to yourself every time you see an Amish person.

3. If you're compelled to smell every single perfume sample in every single magazine you read.

4. If you get the mail in your bathrobe.

5. If you're infinitely more fun your first night in vegas than your second.

6. If you forced yourself to stash away your astrology books because you were starting to say things like, "you're such a capricorn," in conversation and it got weird.

7. If you crave beer (over water) when you're thirsty.

8. If you like bologna.

9. If you've ever blow dried your dog.

10. If several of your notebooks happen to be have red wine stains in them.

Female Friendships: Too Much Fluff, Too Little Truth?

It sometimes seems that the main role of female friendships is to make ourselves feel better; to make ourselves feel like we are not alone in our inability to stop eating girl scout cookies, we are not alone when we worry why it took him so long to call, we are not alone in our unhealthy obsession with sappy, unrealistic reality TV that leaves our hearts thirsting after a guy (preferably a tall, dashing guy) to tell us he wants "our forever."

In fact, empathy just might be the main ingredient in female friendships. Every time we're together we spend bundles of time retracing all that's been bothering us emotionally; "of course your boss doesn't hate you, he was just stressed;" "of course he loves you, he's just emotionally guarded;" "no way, you have not gained weight, you have the best body ev-er!"

Between the listening, the nodding, and the undoubted complimenting we are excellent at building each other up, but where does the need for confidence boosting end and truth telling begin?



A few months ago I watched an interesting moment between my mom and one of her best friends. My mom, mind you, has four brothers that used to pee on her barbie house and a mother that made her get her hair cut at the men's barber shop to save time. She likes to tell me "it's not a fashion show!" when I take too long to pick out an outfit (but, oh life is a fashion show, isn't it?) and often looks at me like I am a different species when I become weepy and emotional at the drop of a dime.

Of course, she does all of this while wearing Stuart Weitzman's, let's not get it twisted.

Well, my very honest mother and her friend were seeing each other for the first time in a couple of months and her friend was worried about the weight she'd "gained." I, naturally, replied that she "looked great" and that I couldn't notice anything (which, I must add, was not a lie). My mother, however, looked at her compassionately and said "nothing we can't work off."

I was appalled. She conceded to weight gain on thighs that were not her own!? I shriveled into the corner like a wilting flower sinking away from the sunlight of truth.

A few months later I've been looking back at this moment curiously. The truth is, her friend knew she'd "gained" weight so anything we said otherwise was (well intended or not) a lie. The other thing is, my mom's response was deliberate. She did not say, "yes your butt looks big," or "maybe just a few pounds," but she instead disregarded the dilemma altogether and offered a solution. No matter what we said, her friend would still feel she'd gained weight, so why not skip the sympathy session and get straight to the finish line?

Instead of sitting around, wallowing in the societal pressures to be thin and wondering whether or not we can ever drop the pounds despite our love of carbohydrates, my mom offered an easy solution to the problem so that we could be done with the negative topic and move on to the important topic of which cocktail to order. 

I am not exactly sure I'll ever be eager to tell my girlfriends they look a little plumper than usual, but the strategy of disregarding the negative and focusing on the solution is something that could be valuable in all dilemmas.

As women, we like to talk about our problems, commiserate, lay around in the shadow of rejection and sulk and eat and gab on and on about how we are clearly more stylish (and generally better) than the coworker that go the promotion before us. But what if we became a bit more like men and fast forwarded to the part where we figure out a solution?

What if we disregarded the heaviness of negativity and the repetitiveness of reassurance and just went straight for the jugular of the issue?

Maybe he's not calling you back because you've texted him an unhealthy amount of times and now he thinks you're a little bit psycho. Maybe your boss hates you because you spend the day shopping online and talking to your friends on gmail.

Sitting around, commiserating about issues for hours is sort of like sipping a pina colada: it looks nice, it's sugary and sweet, but it takes a lot of time for it to really get you anywhere and it makes you a little fatter. Honesty, on the other hand, is like a shot of (top shelf) tequila: it's a little rough on the intake, but if taken with a grain of salt, and finished with the sweetness of a lime it takes you to where you're going much faster and with fewer sympathy calories.

At the end of the day I'll never lose my need for the sugary, pina colada aspect of my female friendships. Sometimes I really do need them to tell me I'm pretty or funny, or more awesome than frozen yogurt. And sometimes I don't want a solution to my problem, I only want a glass of wine.

What I'm hoping, is that in between these moments of sympathy, I can learn to appreciate the truth a bit more. It takes a true friend to tell you when you've messed up, and it takes a strong bond to survive the sometimes unflattering light of honesty. But ultimately, it's worth the sting. All those hours we spend wondering why our boss said we look tired or our boyfriend forgot our favorite flower could really be spent talking about important things: like why in the world they chose Ashley (and her crazy dentist hand gestures) as the new bachelorette, or the complexity of pattern mixing.

And, yes, your ass looks huge in those pants.

Tuesday's Top 10; The Oscars Best Dressed

This Sunday evening we began what I have a feeling will be a tradition, of cheering on Hailee at the Oscars. I was quite excited about my roses and overpriced plastic oscars which I picked up on Hollywood blvd this Saturday:

And also a tad too excited about the taco bar... and well stocked refreshment bar (hydration is so pivotal). 

Naturally, aside from the best supporting actress category, I was most excited about red carpet arrivals.
Sadly, with the exception of Hailee and Cate Blanchett I was slightly underwhelmed. I just felt like some fun and frivolity was missing...

Yet, I somehow managed to pick my nine favorites of the evening, plus one after party all star.

Cate Blanchett in Givenchy 

Our Hailee in her custom made Marchesa! 

Camila Alves in Kaufmanfranco

Gwyneth Paltrow in Calvin Klein 

Hilary Swank in Gucci 

Mandy Moore in Monique Lhuillier 

Florence Welch in Valentino 

Jennifer Lawrence in Calvin Klein 

Rhea Durham in Naeem Kahn 

And now we move to the after party because, quite honestly, there weren't 10 dresses I loved on the red carpet (disappointment).... 

Diane von Furstenberg 

Who were your favorites?

Friday's Favorite Things

1. Favorite giggle:




2. Favorite quote: "We are what we believe we are." - C.S. Lewis

3. Favorite pasttime: spending hours perusing each and every show from New York Fashion week (a post on my favorites to come next week).

4. Favorite image:

5. Favorite Video: our Hailee and Elle Fanning shot by Paola Kudaki for Vanity Fair. I love their high waisted jeans and goofiness.

Friday's Favorite Things.

As I sit here enjoying a glass of Syrah in pajamas and my grandma's angora sweater I thought I'd fill you in on five of my favorite things this week.

1. Favorite words to live by: "Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening." - Coco Chanel

2. Favorite eye candy: (the best moments occur when they get overly enthused.)

Boys of Milan & Paris FW2011 from Justin Wu on Vimeo.

3. Favorite bog: One of my fresher blog finds, 5 Inch and Up. The outfit below, which she styled this week for a Next competition, has elements I thought I'd hate (flowered pants and a sweater wrapped around the waist) yet I still think she looks completely awesome.

4. Favorite discovery: Eating popcorn and edamame for every meal= no dishes.

5. Favorite Picture:

Image via Vanity Fair

66 Things I Learned in 2010

Style
1. Certain things are worth splurging on (champagne, lipstick, hair dryers...).
2. Other things are not worth splurging on (mascara, trendy items, over the top gifts).
3. It's all about fit.
4. It's best to wait 15 minutes before applying your topcoat on your manicure because that allows the polish to set and avoids chipping.
5. Polyester isn't that scary.
6. Camel toes can happen to the loveliest of vaginas in the wrong pants (witnessed primarily at the gym).
7. There's nothing wrong with wearing your best jewels to run errands.
8. Ebay bidding wars produce high blood pressure and nightmares.
9. A scary Halloween costume and clubbing in Hollywood don't jive.
10. Lounging in fur and cashmere makes strep throat a bit better.
11. Screw regular trims... refusal to cut your hair also makes it grow.
12. The thrill of shopping can give you legitimate endorphins.
13. Middle parts are not for me (despite valiant efforts)...
14. Embrace what fits your body and duplicate the silhoutte in different patterns, fabrics, etc.
15. The best style is personal and unique.
16. Sequins and leopard print can always make you happy.

Relationships 
1. Boys can be sensitive too.
2. Mystery does not always beget coolness.
3. Boys gossip as much as girls (just in a different style).
4. Thank you notes are better with personal anecdotes.
5. Girls will judge you, get over it ahead of time.
6. True friends will give you the dress of their back when you like their outfit better than yours.
7. My Grandma had four fiances before my Granddad hitchiked in his military uniform from Texas to Hollywood to steal her away from her latest fiance. She "had a lot of fun."
8. No matter their age, most women are socially programmed to reject compliments.
9. Chivalry goes a long way.

 Random 
1. Good lighting is everything.
2. Kissy faces in photos always make you look drunk or fish-faced.
3. It is possible to feel incredibly old and wildly young simultaneously.
4. You absolutely must trust yourself.
5. You can't take tweets back.
6. Life moves dizzyingly fast.
7. Paparazzi are people too.
8. Taking your google search safety off moderate is one of the most disturbing things you can do.
9. It is not appropriate to high-five obese strangers at the gym.
10. Report cards and credit card statements are one in the same: how much damage have I done?
11. The only problem with being a writer is that you have to write.
12. Anonymity gives people the courage to be rude.

Food & Drink
1.You can order straight up coffee at Starbucks (there's a world outside of lattes!)... and ordering a grande coffee with room makes you feel badass in a corporate way.
2. Gin and tonics and productivity don't always mix.
3. Salads, baked potatoes and spaghetti are not good driving foods.
4. Green onions don't look like other onions.
5. French fries and tequila don't like me as much as I like them.
6. Coffee Bean is a Kosher establishment.
7. Bloody Mary's hold the key to a happy weekend.
8. "Chips Ahoy" is a pun on "Ships Ahoy"... woah!
9. Cheeseburgers and zumba class do not mix well...
10. You can train yourself to love cooking by opening a bottle of wine every time you make dinner.
11. Raisins can restore fizz to champagne. Drop a couple in the bottle a few minutes before serving.
12. Eating poppy seed bagels can show up as heroin on a drug test.
13. Ordering a salad but then eating all of your boyfriend's french fries does not count as dieting.
14. Absinthe at family gatherings can be iffy.
15. Wine tasting is my happy place.
16. Kraft mac and cheese beats fancy, four-gourmet-cheese mac and cheese.
17. It's not the best idea to buy fancy dinner packages off of Gilt group...
18. Consuming generous amounts of champagne the morning of your college graduation leads to napping during the graduation ceremony.

 Practicalities 
1. Credit card bills don't pay themselves.
2. Getting your car serviced isn't as optional as it seems.
3. Polyester cannot be dyed.
4. Cleaning out your friends list on facebook feels even better than cleaning out your closet!
5. You can make DMV appointments online.
6. There's a little arrow next to the gas icon on your dashboard that points to the side of the car your gas pump is on.

Travel 
1. Alcohol at the airport is always a good idea.
2. You can fit 17 people in one tiny house in Georgetown... as long as you throw six girls in a closet-like room with only one mattress.
3. After you've been waiting over 10 minutes for a public bathroom it is not worth it anymore. Time to walk away.
4. Brunch in Georgetown means an open bar and half a bagel...
5. It can snow in Vegas!


Image 1 via Belle Maison, Image 3 via Lula Magazine

Merry Christmas From Me to You

Right now, as I sit by the fire in my Christmas pj's with a glass of cabernet and a stomach so stuffed that I will never eat again I feel a bit like this:

That's mainly because last night and this morning look a bit like this (minus hanging in the bathtub with my presents):

 

I hope your holiday was full of good food, family, strong drinks and a visit from this guy:

I also hope your day was half as charming as these images:

 

 

Merry Christmas to you. And thank you for reading. xx 

Images 2 & 3 Kate Spade, Image 8 via This is Glamorous, Image 9 via Silver Lining, Image 10 via Bardot In Blue

Daily Quote Dose

"What America needs now is a drink." - Franklin D. Roosevelt

Other Things I Did This Week

This week I had a reaction to getting my eyebrows waxed (sexy) and my brother came back from West Point, NY with dark hair:

He's now the token brunette in our family.

At Thanksgiving I ate a belt removing amount, got in trouble for drinking the most expensive bottle of wine (I chose it simply because it had the prettiest bottle...typical) and also contemplated why there was Absinthe at the bar.

I also spent a lot of time doing this sort of thing with my favorite napping partner:

People at my house watched football, ate s'mores and took naps. I was overwhelmed with the excitement of it all...

In between meals and naps I squeezed in some time to write.

I started a new column for The Budget Fashionista titled "We Like Her Style." Every week I'll be featuring stylish bloggers that I adore. Considering I spend half of my waking hours looking at blogs this is an especially exciting column for me. This week I featured one of my favorites Beth Jones of B. Jones style.

In other TBF news I also did a post on studs (of the metal variety...) and also headwear (aka hats and headbands... and turbans).

And, even though you might not care anymore I wrote a Black Friday Playbook. Ironically I was too turkey hungover and exhausted to even make it to the mall. As Oscar Wilde said, the best thing to do with good advice is to pass it on since it's never of any use to you.

Hope you're enjoying a leisurely Sunday. xo

Thanksgiving Thank You Note

Since it is the time of giving thanks (and stuffing yourself with food), I decided to write a personalized thank you note to some of my favorite individuals.

To my best friends, 
Thank you for assuring me that you love every blog post (the good and the bad). Thank you also for telling me when I am being inappropriate by dancing on top of a fountain or sharing life secrets with the bartender. Finally, thank you for continuing to be my friend despite the fact that I send you blackberry pictures of my dog and outfit contemplations regularly.

Serving the bartender might have been the point it got inappropriate

To my parents, 
Thank you for always answering your phone when my car is broken or I can't find green onions at the grocery store.

To my grandma,
Thank you for giving me your amazing mohair and fur sweaters that I wear with pride. It ups the cool factor that I'm able to say "this was my grandma's."

To 103.5, 
Thank you for accepting that November is a perfectly splendid time to start playing Christmas music.

To Dan,
Thanks for introducing me to over easy eggs, handling the heavy lifting and dressing like Ronald McDonald on Halloween...It's a real pick me up whenever I need a laughable mental image.

To TLC,
Thank you for filling your line-up with reality shows (cough, Say Yes to the Dress, Sister Wives, Four Weddings...) that are disturbingly addictive.

To wine,
Thank you for always hanging out with me on the weekends, despite your other obligations. Also, thanks for making the world seem rosier.

Other things I'm thankful for: kindness from strangers, the bravery and sacrifice of our troops, Jesus (my main man), my brothers, stuffing, pumpkin pie, the fact that I graduated (somehow), people that let you cut in front of them when you're stressed during freeway merging, black eyeliner (for sticking with me throughout the past eight years of our relationship), my travel adventures, dirty martinis, USC football games (for allowing me to step back into college every so often), warm towels, peonies, pasta, flea markets, and miraculously comfortable high heels.

Daily Quote Dose

“Wine is like bottled poetry.” -Robert Louis Stevenson

Photo by Tom Palumbo

Wine Tasting Journal, Santa Ynez Edition

A couple of weekends ago I went wine tasting in Santa Ynez with my boyfriend and friends and had an amazing time getting wine teeth, learning, and soaking in the stunning scenery of the Santa Ynez valley. In preparation for the trip I naturally designated myself as the wine tasting day itinerary planner despite have very limited (see: zero) experience in the area of wine tasting (well, I've tasted a few grapes but let's just say I didn't always savor the flavor in true sommelier style... hi mom). 

As a matter of research I hit the internet and found this site which has a nice map of the valley that's very helpful in deciding which vineyards to hit and in which order. I browsed through reviews and web sites and pictures and random people's comments on the matter (those are just always entertaining) and decided my list of vineyards and wineries that I wanted to visit included: Bridlewood Winery, Buttonwood Farm Winery, Gainey Vineyards, and Sunstone Winery. All of these wineries had rave reviews for both experience and wine and so I whipped up a document (color coded of course) mapping out our plan for the day and emailed it along to my cohorts.

And then, of course.... we didn't go to any of these places. So I can't quite give a review on the aforementioned wineries but you can look at the pretty pictures on their websites (linked above) and enjoy, just as I did.

Instead, my wine tasting weekend took a turn for the unique.

I had heard about Demetria Estate before from my one-of-a-kind awesome Aunt Tammy. She is the kind of woman that hangs her homemade pasta to dry on a "casual spaghetti night" and has a room-filling laugh that trumps Julia Roberts'. Aunt Tammy had gushed about the beautiful setting of this vineyard and its personal feel but once she said I needed a reservation I tuned out like a frat boy in a feminism class and figured "there's no way I'll get this group to make a reservation... this is amateur hour."

Turns out, I didn't have to... my friend's mom had stepped in (aren't moms just great for that responsible stuff?) and made us a reservation and so we ended up here:

Pulling up to the Estate was an experience in itself. After going through the gates as well as another winery, we drove up a windy road for quite awhile before reaching the beautiful tasting room at the top of one of the vineyard's hills.

The tasting room was small and ornate but what was really lovely about this place was an outdoor seating area. Under yawning oak trees was a collection of rustic wooden tables filled with couples, groups, locals and experts, all at a minimum of 20 years our senior. So despite the 100 degree heat, we sat down and enjoyed the six wine tasting outside. We also ordered an assortment of cheeses, olives, salami, prosciutto and crackers and I was mesmerized by the heavy-handed young guys running around in jeans and plaid shirts- they really kept the wine flowing.

My blogging notes were thirsty too.

Oh, the owner's dog (I am assuming this is the owner's dog because it was very skilled at table hopping) was also hanging out.

By the end of the tasting we had spent two hours at Demetria. It was definitely a leisurely stroll of an experience compared to other tasting rooms that speed you through the wines as you stand at the counter.

The Cuvee Papou and Pinot Noir were my favorites, but all of the wines were impressive and the rest of the group was very excited about the Chardonnay (not a Chardonnay chick myself). I definitely recommend allotting yourself a couple of hours here at least because of the slow-paced tasting and also because you will have to take a couple of pictures: 

After Demetria we only had time for one more tasting (a late start with a couple too many blood mary's for breakfast will do that to you) so we headed to the nearby Koehler. 

The tasting room here was more traditional and a big guy in a Hawaiian shirt led us through the wines at a fox-trot pace (it was close to closing time and I heard one of the other employees had to take off for a date she had... hope that went well for her). 

I absolutely loved the wine at Koehler. The Pinot Noir was great, the Cabernet was light and delicious and I wanted to bathe in the Sangiovese Estate.

Finally, on our way back to Santa Barbara, everyone sufficiently filled with wine and excited about their purchases (I bought a bottle of the Koehler Sangiovese- my favorite) we stopped at the most charming, rustic bar I've ever seen- Cold Springs Tavern.

With a live band playing classic rock, bikers and wine tasters and sprinklings of some "interesting" characters there, I felt like I was in a different state.

After a couple of beers (totally necessary because we just hadn't had enough wine that day) and a few of my signature little-girl twirls around the dance floor we were off. I highly recommend the Cold Springs Tavern for a night cap (or early evening cap) after a day at the vineyards. The whole place kind of feels like the banjo-playing bears on Disneyland's splash mountain ride.

Now I'm off to San Francisco for the weekend in search of the city's best blood mary and vintage shopping. Updates to come, of course.