Daily Quote Dose: A True Friend...

"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." 

-Bernard Meltzer

image source

Daily Quote Dose: Friendship Is Born When...

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'" 

-C.S. Lewis  

image source

Daily Quote Dose: Two Kinds Of Men

"I like two kinds of men: domestic and imported." -Mae West

photo by Matt Albiani

Daily Quote Dose: Poetry

"Poetry is a naked man, a naked woman, and the distance between them." 

-Lawrence Ferlinghetti

image via we heart it 

Female Friendships: Too Much Fluff, Too Little Truth?

It sometimes seems that the main role of female friendships is to make ourselves feel better; to make ourselves feel like we are not alone in our inability to stop eating girl scout cookies, we are not alone when we worry why it took him so long to call, we are not alone in our unhealthy obsession with sappy, unrealistic reality TV that leaves our hearts thirsting after a guy (preferably a tall, dashing guy) to tell us he wants "our forever."

In fact, empathy just might be the main ingredient in female friendships. Every time we're together we spend bundles of time retracing all that's been bothering us emotionally; "of course your boss doesn't hate you, he was just stressed;" "of course he loves you, he's just emotionally guarded;" "no way, you have not gained weight, you have the best body ev-er!"

Between the listening, the nodding, and the undoubted complimenting we are excellent at building each other up, but where does the need for confidence boosting end and truth telling begin?



A few months ago I watched an interesting moment between my mom and one of her best friends. My mom, mind you, has four brothers that used to pee on her barbie house and a mother that made her get her hair cut at the men's barber shop to save time. She likes to tell me "it's not a fashion show!" when I take too long to pick out an outfit (but, oh life is a fashion show, isn't it?) and often looks at me like I am a different species when I become weepy and emotional at the drop of a dime.

Of course, she does all of this while wearing Stuart Weitzman's, let's not get it twisted.

Well, my very honest mother and her friend were seeing each other for the first time in a couple of months and her friend was worried about the weight she'd "gained." I, naturally, replied that she "looked great" and that I couldn't notice anything (which, I must add, was not a lie). My mother, however, looked at her compassionately and said "nothing we can't work off."

I was appalled. She conceded to weight gain on thighs that were not her own!? I shriveled into the corner like a wilting flower sinking away from the sunlight of truth.

A few months later I've been looking back at this moment curiously. The truth is, her friend knew she'd "gained" weight so anything we said otherwise was (well intended or not) a lie. The other thing is, my mom's response was deliberate. She did not say, "yes your butt looks big," or "maybe just a few pounds," but she instead disregarded the dilemma altogether and offered a solution. No matter what we said, her friend would still feel she'd gained weight, so why not skip the sympathy session and get straight to the finish line?

Instead of sitting around, wallowing in the societal pressures to be thin and wondering whether or not we can ever drop the pounds despite our love of carbohydrates, my mom offered an easy solution to the problem so that we could be done with the negative topic and move on to the important topic of which cocktail to order. 

I am not exactly sure I'll ever be eager to tell my girlfriends they look a little plumper than usual, but the strategy of disregarding the negative and focusing on the solution is something that could be valuable in all dilemmas.

As women, we like to talk about our problems, commiserate, lay around in the shadow of rejection and sulk and eat and gab on and on about how we are clearly more stylish (and generally better) than the coworker that go the promotion before us. But what if we became a bit more like men and fast forwarded to the part where we figure out a solution?

What if we disregarded the heaviness of negativity and the repetitiveness of reassurance and just went straight for the jugular of the issue?

Maybe he's not calling you back because you've texted him an unhealthy amount of times and now he thinks you're a little bit psycho. Maybe your boss hates you because you spend the day shopping online and talking to your friends on gmail.

Sitting around, commiserating about issues for hours is sort of like sipping a pina colada: it looks nice, it's sugary and sweet, but it takes a lot of time for it to really get you anywhere and it makes you a little fatter. Honesty, on the other hand, is like a shot of (top shelf) tequila: it's a little rough on the intake, but if taken with a grain of salt, and finished with the sweetness of a lime it takes you to where you're going much faster and with fewer sympathy calories.

At the end of the day I'll never lose my need for the sugary, pina colada aspect of my female friendships. Sometimes I really do need them to tell me I'm pretty or funny, or more awesome than frozen yogurt. And sometimes I don't want a solution to my problem, I only want a glass of wine.

What I'm hoping, is that in between these moments of sympathy, I can learn to appreciate the truth a bit more. It takes a true friend to tell you when you've messed up, and it takes a strong bond to survive the sometimes unflattering light of honesty. But ultimately, it's worth the sting. All those hours we spend wondering why our boss said we look tired or our boyfriend forgot our favorite flower could really be spent talking about important things: like why in the world they chose Ashley (and her crazy dentist hand gestures) as the new bachelorette, or the complexity of pattern mixing.

And, yes, your ass looks huge in those pants.

Daily Quote Dose

“I love the way chocolate makes your eyes light up. I love hearing you try to defend Hall and Oates. I love your compassionate heart- your big, sloppy sentimental heart.”-- The Illumination, Kevin Brockmeier 

quote via Matchbook Magazine 

image via This is Glamorous 

For My Independent Ladies...

I found this gem of a video on PopSugar today and giggled out loud. This little lady is bossy and I couldn't love her more.




"I care if I do something that's special."

Hey, I'm Not Going To Judge You...

1. If your boyfriend is more domestically talented than you are. 

He just loves doing the dishes.

2. If you've ever read the words "bread crumbs" in a recipe and wondered, "how the hell do I crumble up that much bread?@!"

3. If you really like your dog but you only really love it when it smells good (the same can be said of men...).

4. If you refuse to ever institute an open pooping policy in your romantic relationships.

5. If you think guys posting topless mirror shots of themselves on facebook is more gag worthy than females doing the same (girls are known to be insecure and needy, especially when they have daddy issues... duh.)

6. If your bladder is perfectly trained to require a trip to the girls' room when the check is about to hit the table.

7. If you go to bed with your mouth watering at the thought of your morning cup 'o joe.

8. If you get speed-level competitive with everyone around you when you're on the treadmill... especially the stupid chick in the itty bitty spandex shorts... bitch.

9. If you read every single review when you're researching hotels.

10. If you live meal to meal; weekend to weekend: modern girl's hedonism?

66 Things I Learned in 2010

Style
1. Certain things are worth splurging on (champagne, lipstick, hair dryers...).
2. Other things are not worth splurging on (mascara, trendy items, over the top gifts).
3. It's all about fit.
4. It's best to wait 15 minutes before applying your topcoat on your manicure because that allows the polish to set and avoids chipping.
5. Polyester isn't that scary.
6. Camel toes can happen to the loveliest of vaginas in the wrong pants (witnessed primarily at the gym).
7. There's nothing wrong with wearing your best jewels to run errands.
8. Ebay bidding wars produce high blood pressure and nightmares.
9. A scary Halloween costume and clubbing in Hollywood don't jive.
10. Lounging in fur and cashmere makes strep throat a bit better.
11. Screw regular trims... refusal to cut your hair also makes it grow.
12. The thrill of shopping can give you legitimate endorphins.
13. Middle parts are not for me (despite valiant efforts)...
14. Embrace what fits your body and duplicate the silhoutte in different patterns, fabrics, etc.
15. The best style is personal and unique.
16. Sequins and leopard print can always make you happy.

Relationships 
1. Boys can be sensitive too.
2. Mystery does not always beget coolness.
3. Boys gossip as much as girls (just in a different style).
4. Thank you notes are better with personal anecdotes.
5. Girls will judge you, get over it ahead of time.
6. True friends will give you the dress of their back when you like their outfit better than yours.
7. My Grandma had four fiances before my Granddad hitchiked in his military uniform from Texas to Hollywood to steal her away from her latest fiance. She "had a lot of fun."
8. No matter their age, most women are socially programmed to reject compliments.
9. Chivalry goes a long way.

 Random 
1. Good lighting is everything.
2. Kissy faces in photos always make you look drunk or fish-faced.
3. It is possible to feel incredibly old and wildly young simultaneously.
4. You absolutely must trust yourself.
5. You can't take tweets back.
6. Life moves dizzyingly fast.
7. Paparazzi are people too.
8. Taking your google search safety off moderate is one of the most disturbing things you can do.
9. It is not appropriate to high-five obese strangers at the gym.
10. Report cards and credit card statements are one in the same: how much damage have I done?
11. The only problem with being a writer is that you have to write.
12. Anonymity gives people the courage to be rude.

Food & Drink
1.You can order straight up coffee at Starbucks (there's a world outside of lattes!)... and ordering a grande coffee with room makes you feel badass in a corporate way.
2. Gin and tonics and productivity don't always mix.
3. Salads, baked potatoes and spaghetti are not good driving foods.
4. Green onions don't look like other onions.
5. French fries and tequila don't like me as much as I like them.
6. Coffee Bean is a Kosher establishment.
7. Bloody Mary's hold the key to a happy weekend.
8. "Chips Ahoy" is a pun on "Ships Ahoy"... woah!
9. Cheeseburgers and zumba class do not mix well...
10. You can train yourself to love cooking by opening a bottle of wine every time you make dinner.
11. Raisins can restore fizz to champagne. Drop a couple in the bottle a few minutes before serving.
12. Eating poppy seed bagels can show up as heroin on a drug test.
13. Ordering a salad but then eating all of your boyfriend's french fries does not count as dieting.
14. Absinthe at family gatherings can be iffy.
15. Wine tasting is my happy place.
16. Kraft mac and cheese beats fancy, four-gourmet-cheese mac and cheese.
17. It's not the best idea to buy fancy dinner packages off of Gilt group...
18. Consuming generous amounts of champagne the morning of your college graduation leads to napping during the graduation ceremony.

 Practicalities 
1. Credit card bills don't pay themselves.
2. Getting your car serviced isn't as optional as it seems.
3. Polyester cannot be dyed.
4. Cleaning out your friends list on facebook feels even better than cleaning out your closet!
5. You can make DMV appointments online.
6. There's a little arrow next to the gas icon on your dashboard that points to the side of the car your gas pump is on.

Travel 
1. Alcohol at the airport is always a good idea.
2. You can fit 17 people in one tiny house in Georgetown... as long as you throw six girls in a closet-like room with only one mattress.
3. After you've been waiting over 10 minutes for a public bathroom it is not worth it anymore. Time to walk away.
4. Brunch in Georgetown means an open bar and half a bagel...
5. It can snow in Vegas!


Image 1 via Belle Maison, Image 3 via Lula Magazine

Daily Quote Dose

"Dogs are better than human beings because they know but do not tell." -Emily Dickinson

Speaking Girl

Sometimes girls say what they mean... often they don't. I decided to play a little game called "speaking girl." In each article I will decipher the real meaning behind what a girl says. Of course, there are exceptions and some translations depend on the relationship you have with the person, but for the most part, here's the cold hard truth.


1. She says, "I'm really excited for new things to come." She means, "screw that wretched bastard. I hate men."

2. She says,"she's nice." She means,"she has no defining qualities and I don't really like her. 

3. She says, "no, I don't want more bread (or whipped cream, or sinful toppings on my frozen yogurt)." She means,"Yes, I do."

4. She says, "you guys are the cutest couple ever!" She means, "you take the exact same picture in the exact same pose in a million different locations and it makes me nauseous."

5. She says, "I have a stomach ache." She means, "I have period cramps."

6. She says, "I think she and I are facebook friends." She means, "I've stalked her on facebook."

7. She says, "you look so different!" She means,"you look worse than you usually do."

8. She says, "no, no flowah on my big toe today, thanks." She means, "I will never want a flower on my big toe during a pedicure. Stop asking me. Stop asking all people that are over the age of nine." 

9. She says, "oh, I'm not really asking for anything this Christmas." She means, "I want diamond stud earrings, a cropped mink coat, new boots, a trip to France..."

10. She says, "please let me split the check with you." She means, "please allow me to look like I am a self sufficient and independent woman that pays for her risotto... even though if you do accept this offer my card will be declined because I maxed it out at Neiman's earlier today... Okay.... don't accept, don't accept."

On My Mind

Listening To:



Craving: Warm sun

Coveting: Sara Berman Convertible Leather Jacket with Genuine Shearling Collar

On My To Do List: Track down my college diploma (woops), start Christmas shopping (yikes), endure diet of chicken and veggies after a magical weekend of in n out, s'mores for breakfast, and copious amounts of wine.


Watching: "Love In The First Person" by photographer Matt Eich. I fell in love with this video a couple of years ago and still think it's beautiful.

At twenty, photojournalist Matt Eich has maturity dropped in his lap: his world-class career takes off, just as his girlfriend becomes pregnant. Together they document their budding lives, as they grapple with some very grown-up choices. See the project at http://mediastorm.com/publication/love-in-the-first-person

Reading: Four Male Habits That Drive Women Crazy ... I'm thinking I should right the follow up article. And Where To Find "Winter" In Southern California... I want to go skating at the W.

Inspired by: Young Kate

On My Social Agenda: Ice skating and drinks at the W (I hope); my brother's high school football game (what has my life come to?)


Wondering: Why is my family so horrible at Catchphrase?

I've also realized why Thanksgiving isn't my favorite holiday. Christmas- all about the presents (Happy Birthday Jesus! Let's give each other gifts!) ; New Year's- all about the alcohol; birthdays- all about me; Halloween- all about the outfits; Thanksgiving- all about the food (and I don't even like turkey).

Thanksgiving Thank You Note

Since it is the time of giving thanks (and stuffing yourself with food), I decided to write a personalized thank you note to some of my favorite individuals.

To my best friends, 
Thank you for assuring me that you love every blog post (the good and the bad). Thank you also for telling me when I am being inappropriate by dancing on top of a fountain or sharing life secrets with the bartender. Finally, thank you for continuing to be my friend despite the fact that I send you blackberry pictures of my dog and outfit contemplations regularly.

Serving the bartender might have been the point it got inappropriate

To my parents, 
Thank you for always answering your phone when my car is broken or I can't find green onions at the grocery store.

To my grandma,
Thank you for giving me your amazing mohair and fur sweaters that I wear with pride. It ups the cool factor that I'm able to say "this was my grandma's."

To 103.5, 
Thank you for accepting that November is a perfectly splendid time to start playing Christmas music.

To Dan,
Thanks for introducing me to over easy eggs, handling the heavy lifting and dressing like Ronald McDonald on Halloween...It's a real pick me up whenever I need a laughable mental image.

To TLC,
Thank you for filling your line-up with reality shows (cough, Say Yes to the Dress, Sister Wives, Four Weddings...) that are disturbingly addictive.

To wine,
Thank you for always hanging out with me on the weekends, despite your other obligations. Also, thanks for making the world seem rosier.

Other things I'm thankful for: kindness from strangers, the bravery and sacrifice of our troops, Jesus (my main man), my brothers, stuffing, pumpkin pie, the fact that I graduated (somehow), people that let you cut in front of them when you're stressed during freeway merging, black eyeliner (for sticking with me throughout the past eight years of our relationship), my travel adventures, dirty martinis, USC football games (for allowing me to step back into college every so often), warm towels, peonies, pasta, flea markets, and miraculously comfortable high heels.

Daily Quote Dose

"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."

Emily Bronte

Daily Quote Dose

"I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them." -Mae West

Photo by Corbis Images 

Hey, I'm Not Going To Judge You...

1. If you consciously wear cuter pajamas to bed (in lieu of your usual retainer/underwear combination) when there's earthquake warnings.

2.  If you care about who won the world series as much as you care about your grandpa's bowel movements.

3. If you give yourself points for throwing on your exercise outfit... even though you never made it to the gym.

4. If you've ever shaved your legs before a pedicure just to avoid the mental preoccupation of "does this woman think my legs are disgustingly spiky?!"

5. If you frequently spoon your blackberry.

6. If your casual, messy bun actually takes about five attempts.

7. If the name of the nail polish is a huge factor in your decision when you "chooz yo cuh-la"

8. If you feel very uncomfortable when a guy recognizes your perfume because you know it means: A) his ex wore the same scent.  B) he is a creep.  C) he is a salesman giving out "free" perfume samples. D) he is a super creep.

9. If you liked Katherine Heigl better when she was in Disney's "Wish Upon A Star."

10. If you only sleep on one side of your bed because you saw a spider on the other side... three weeks ago.

Daily Quote Dose

"The average Hollywood film star's ambition is to be admired by an American, courted by an Italian, married to an Englishman and have a French boyfriend." -Katharine Hepburn

Image via Audrey Hepburn Complex

Daily Quote Dose

 "I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love." -Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City

Image via Audrey Hepburn Complex

Hey, I'm Not Going To Judge You

1. If your internal dialogue includes rap phrases but you are a white female... example: while in the garage getting a diet coke you internally say-with swagger- "it's got in hot in hurrrr," or "it's hard out there for a pimp."

2. If you've ever made yourself cry watching 90's country music videos on YouTube.

3. If you eat ice cream for breakfast without thinking twice about it.

 4. If you comb your hair into weird styles (Mohawk, Cindy Lou Who) when its dirty... just for fun.


5. If you make your boyfriend's bed every time you sleep over but you rarely make your own (it's all an allusion boys).

6. If you distrust skinny chefs and fat yoga instructors (they're obviously not buyin' what they're sellin').

7. If you mummify your hand before killing a spider.

8. If you miss Britney and Justin in all their matching denim glory.

9. If you ever feel weird walking around naked in front of your dog (they can't tell... right?).

10. If you're still just a little tiny bit afraid of the dark.

Daily Quote Dose

"There is one friend in the life of each of us who seems not a separate person, however dear and beloved, but an expansion, an interpretation, of one's self, the very meaning of one's soul." 

- Edith Wharton

Image via Audrey Hepburn Complex